Guest Article #42: For the Joy of Sharing

The Changed Woman but Not-so-changing Man!

By Narinder Kaur
Counsellor, Energy Healer, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author & POSH Trainer, New Delhi, India

Foreword by Venkat
It is said that men are from Mars and women from Venus. Venus takes 243 days to complete one spin around itself and that works to about a medium walking speed by humans. Mars takes 24h 36 min (much like the earth) to complete one spin. Venus is the slowest spinning planet in our solar system and this stands in complete contrast to the point made by Narinder Kaur. The pivotal changes in society with women outgrowing the stereotyped roles, brings new equations to balance especially when the patriarchic mindset does not evolve to the pace. New equations of power, skills as well as thought process demand the attention as persuaded by Narinder. Her story is a reflection of the hard realities and brings several questions to work on, not just at an individual level but on a social-cultural aspect as well. The larger and deeper question remains on what transforms an outdated mindset.

For some food for thought, brace up for the message in Narinder Kaur’s bold and inspired words.


Narinder Kaur is the Author of ‘The Phoenix (From Ashes to Rebirth)’. The Women Power Unleashed, who helps women to recognize and raise the phoenix in them and live a supremely empowered and dignified life. She is a single mother to a special girl child, Prabhjot Kaur.

Narinder is full in charge of her journey; she teaches how to ‘Live Life to the Fullest’. She believes women are the strongest pillars on the planet. A successful woman can build a firm foundation with the bricks thrown at her. She’s a woman with values, standards, virtues, clarity of mind and thought, and a radiant smile. She laughs without fear of the future. She says never apologize for being a powerful woman.
Her website: https://www.narinderkaur.in


The Changed Woman but Not-so-changing Man!

When women are changing, men ought to change or prepare themselves for the change.

In an evolving world girls/women are changing… boys/men need to change too…For at least two generations now – especially in urban India and educated middle-class families – we have raised our girls to be confident and fight for their rights. But we seem to have ignored an entire generation of boys who were not told anything about how their sisters were changing. While we gave our daughters new ideals and role models, no one bothered to tell their brothers that they ought to change too!

Girls drive two-wheelers and cars. It is considered an essential life skill. You can often hear dads proudly proclaiming that their daughters can drive very well indeed and they don’t need a father / husband / brother to take them anywhere. However, boys were never taught that cooking is an essential life skill. You don’t see parents proudly saying that their son can cook and doesn’t need a mother/wife/sister to feed him (and keep him alive!). We don’t tell our sons that it is okay for them to be paid less than their wives or stay at home to take care of the kids while their spouses continue to work.

Men want to marry a working woman (in theory) but are completely unprepared for the practical reality of a marriage where both partners work. It means doing the dishes or supervising the maid when your wife has a report to complete, it means taking half the day off to take care of your sick son because your wife has an important presentation. It may even mean giving up a promotion or moving to a new city for your spouse’s career.

Because we don’t tell our sons all this, they continue to expect that their wife will automatically give up the job / promotion / transfer in favor of the family whereas they will never have to take a step back from their own careers. Boys are still raised the way they were for the last many generations.

Women are upset that dinner – and the house, kids, in-laws, maid – is still their responsibility while the men don’t know what they did wrong. After all, they ‘allow’ their wives to work, what more do they want? Let us not only empower women, but also prepare men to set their expectations right.

By Narinder Kaur
Counsellor, Energy Healer, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author & POSH Trainer, New Delhi, India


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Usha
Usha
May 26, 2022 4:37 am

Well said! It is imperative to change the dialogue and make our boys realise that the world is different.

Loved the foreword by Venkat!